A lady I will call Peta found me by chance and asked me if I could help her. She told me she had cancer – again. After 20 years of being well after beating one small tumour, she suddenly developed another tumour in a bone. Since that second diagnosis she had been trying everything, including Gerson method and the Louise Hay method of using positive affirmations daily while looking at herself in the mirror. Louise Hay’s, and Peta’s, affirmation for cancer was ‘I love and approve of myself’ daily.

However, since she began doing that, she had gone from having 1 tumour to having over 20 tumours in different parts of her body. Understandably she was greatly distressed and in despair, not to mention pain, exhaustion, panic and fear. Peta had children and so was greatly invested in getting and staying well.

I listened carefully and noted down a timeline of events. I asked her when this was. It was 4 years ago. I asked what was going on in her life at the time. Peta said that her marriage had been strained and that her husband and herself had talked of separating – something she strongly did not want. She worried she may be left alone to care for her children. I asked how she felt at the time. She said rejected, abandoned and unlovable.

After sharing her story with me, we began muscle testing. Her body was under way too much stress to work towards a goal. Instead her body asked us to remove major stresses to allow proper function of some body systems (digestive/cardiac etc). The first of these was an unhelpful, limiting subconscious belief. When testing through the list, the body identified the words ‘I love myself’. Peta was incredulous. ‘That’s not possible’ she said, ‘I’ve been saying the opposite for years!’. ‘Let’s test it, shall we?’ was my reply. The muscle test failed when Peta said ‘I love myself’ and instead stayed strong, indicating agreement when Peta said ‘I do not love myself’. Immediately Peta understood.

She understood that each morning that she had been doing the ‘right thing’ and affirming her love for herself, her subconscious programming replied – silently, without her knowledge – in the negative. What this means is that every time Peta said ‘I love myself’ her subconscious mind fought back. She had been, unknowingly, reaffirming a negative statement for 4 years. And, that simply saying the positive saying had not re-programmed her subconscious in all that time.

I asked if she was ready and willing to change this belief into something that supports her better. She said yes. We did the sabotage belief removal process (combination of NLP EFT Chinese meridian therapy and other techniques all combined – very powerful) and eliminated the negative thought in 5 minutes. We then re-programmed in the positive thought of ‘I love myself’. This also took 5 minutes.

Peta was blown away by her discoveries and left the clinic wide-eyed and a lot more peaceful than when she arrived. She had found hope. Through testing her body, she had found some hope of finding a method of healing.

This session began a long journey for Peta and myself. We worked on Peta truly and authentically accepting and loving herself. We had many kinesiology sessions afterwards, in person and on skype, and she discovered amazing things she would not have thought were possible. For reasons not explained here, Peta was brought up by a male care-giver, not by her parents. And she did indeed discover that she had been subtly programmed in childhood by her male care-giver who complained bitterly and expressed hatred for all of his female partners after each breakup. But if she was a woman…..what did that mean for her, about herself? She realised that her long-term exposure to her care-giver’s negative viewpoint had subconsciously programmed her to believe that as a woman, she must also be unacceptable, unlovable. The day we discovered this in her session was absolutely monumental for Peta. She could not believe she had never seen this before.

But that is the nature of our survival mind – it won’t let us see things it believes will risk our lives. And it would have risked Peta’s life to speak out against her single care-giver. So she agreed with his opinions, for her safety. She did not want to be disliked or abandoned by her only care-giver. This is usually the single most important concern for any child – that their care-giver accepts and loves them, and therefore cares for them and keeps them safe.

We worked with Peta to establish self-acceptance, self-love and even to be present inside her body as most of the time she was so terrified and frightened she was beside herself (literally: her aura had moved to one side) – as many people are when terrified. This gave her strength and grounding to make decisions she needed to make about treatments that were possible, that were being offered by doctors and by cancer centres worldwide. Decisions that were impossible in a state of fear.

In Peta’s case, we muscle tested for other care givers and her body chose a colleague of mine who has skills in herbs for cancer reduction. My colleague and I then worked together doing ‘shared-care’ for Peta’. We also worked in with Peta’s medical team and other care givers, working as a team to support Peta, return her to good health and a good life. She has now gone from 20 tumors back to her original one – which is now half its original size – and continues to astound doctors. I wish her well on her way to joy happiness and finally, a fulfilling life full of love for herself.

I find myself wondering how much lack of love someone with breast cancer may be enduring...…....